nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize