16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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