Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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