before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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