this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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