as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
