I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
