love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
