No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
