Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
even my farts smell like vagina
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
