is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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