you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
50% drunk capacity currently
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
