Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.

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(560): View more from

I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.

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(416): View more from Ontario

girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.

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(586): View more from Michigan

So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?

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(602): View more from Arizona

The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!

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(901): View more from Tennessee

So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.

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