I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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