The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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