let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
