Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
