break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
