i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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