Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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