just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
