i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize