this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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