Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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