4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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