I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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