8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
