Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
