office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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