if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
