Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
