How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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