I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
