Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
