let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
