I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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