Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
