just tell him i said nine months
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
