Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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