my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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