dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
