Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize