Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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