just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
