dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
