My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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