My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
this boner is exhausting
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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