I just saw a hot homeless man
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize