I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
