Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
