You don't have asthma, your pregnant
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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