fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Randomize