Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
