I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
