How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize