A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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