just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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