what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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