It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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