okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Success! We fucked roommates!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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