Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize