WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
