when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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